Life is really boring nowadays. Camp life just gives me a sense of deja vu. Booking in, doing clerk stuff and Sai Kang (geez i just attract this eh? ORBAT Chart, Filing, Cleaning...), then booking out. All the while trying not to let anyone notice me. Grah!
While i have never craved attention, i do seek appreciation. If i finish my stuff, and can be seen slacking, its cos i have earned it! I don't need you to come and say wah slack ah? Nothing to do ah? Worse still, talk back and i lose not just due to rank, but due to bias. ARGH!!! My racial jokes are starting to become less like jokes and more like facts to me, which is a bad sign, after all same ratio in driver course, totally different atmosphere! There, we were one big happy family. Here, unless you smoke/ speak malay, your jokes = you talk too much ( probably cos its in the "wrong" language). Then you have the cheek to say i don't join in?
Haix, at least with most of my own section mates ( mates as in friends not that bullshit mate ie people you stand and smile at while wishing to kick their ass) like Fik, Ful, Shah and Yann, I still can talk to them as friends. The rest? meh
Truth is, most of em ain't that bad, just my luck the influential AKA loud ones are... Empty vessels make the most noise indeed!
Haix I guess first impressions count too... Spilling Oil, being viewed as the Blue Eyed Baby of our MTT who isn't well respected( or liked), coming back from BM course with excuse boots, ah wells no point crying over spilt milk. I'll just SAF ( serve and F off) after all TIA
Being the only Chinese next week is gonna BURN! Ahh as Daughtry says be careful what you wish for, co you just might get it all, and then some you don't want. M^? Tay going to BMT means that its more fair ( based on this thinking i have about fairness and honour which has seriously caused me a lot of trouble and that i need to reduce) but also means meals alone, booking in/out alone... ah wells thank god i ain't that sensitive bout being alone eh?
But being sensitive and liking it is different! I hate being alone( for too long)! having always had small but close friends instead of big groups of friends due to my tendency to feel responsible for them in some way. (ie smaller group less ppl to worry about); as well as being better able to know each and everyone well. ( all the better for suaning)[ all my close friends will experience it, kinda my screwed up way of showing i care{ ie i know these little quirks about you that i can make fun off cos i bother to notice em!!! ;) }] And from the above, my tendency to sidetrack and think too much, pfft getting away from the point now
ANYWAY the gist? Camp life sux, cos i can't talk freely, am a minority that is not really accepted or part of their otherwise very close knit family, and am freaking lonely! All these kill you when you are a mischievous bugger who is forced to keep it all in.
Which kinda makes you think
How many PERSONALITIES can a person have without going Psycho?
I have the Good boy persona many ppl notice when i'm in a weird place, ie quiet, well behaved agreeable
Also the mad man persona when with close friends, ie cheeky, talkative
With certain friends, i can think and discuss stuff quite deeply though once in a while i'll throw in the odd random observation ( just me! ;))
When i see ppl who need more care or need help, the Older Brother personality appears, ie i explain stuff slowly, help, try to make them comfortable
When i see ppl bullying or being an asswipe to others or abusing power( pet peeve) and i'm in a position to sort it out (or not), i juz go in and own them with words or pointing out their actions or flaws in a very personal and sarcastic manner, and let as many ppl know as possible. IE taste of their own medicine X2
When working, i can get super concentrated and not do any frivolous activities at all, which is kinda unlike me.
And yet if i hate what i am tasked to do, the slacker appears. Even so, i will do the task as quickly as possible!
Kinda makes you wonder eh? After all I'm sure I'm not the only one and am as sure that I have more weird personas than those listed above!
Ahh, is this under Psychology? or should i follow my passion and go into sports?
Messed up post eh?
Might as well throw a Rhyme/ Poem in then!
Solo
In Camp
Solo
God damn
Life's a bore
Works a Chore
sitting down weakens my core
while being treated like a whore
What to do
Boo Hoo Hoo
If only i can fling the Poo
Right back at Bur-lahhh-dee you
Yeah Random Shizz alright!
